10 Ways To Support A Friend Or Family Member Diagnosed with Cancer

In keeping with my theme this month, I am deviating from my regular focus of highlighting a recent family session or providing photo tips and giving you some helpful advice on how to support someone with a new diagnosis of cancer. For those of you who are new here, I was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer in 2015.  In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness, this month I have been doing some fundraising and education for Breast Cancer.

According to Breastcancer.org, about 1 in 8 U.S. women (about 12.4%) will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime. What does this mean? It means there is a very high probability that a girlfriend, mom, sister, wife or mother you know, will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Many times family and friends are at a loss for how to help someone who has been newly diagnosed with cancer.  Here is a list of things I have complied to give you guidance when you want to know some of the best ways to help out.

1. HELP WITH KIDS - this could be as simple as offering to take the kids for a playdate, sleepover or a drive to after school activity. A more in depth task would be to help create a schedule for friends to offer support to the family managing the kids schedule.

2.  START A MEAL TRAIN  (https://www.mealtrain.com/) This is especially helpful for families with younger children. The time and energy to put together a family meal can be exhausting when she is receiving chemo or has just had surgery.  This is also a great opportunity for other family and friends to offer their support.

3. SEND A NOTE  - a card, quick email or text. It may not seem like a lot to you, but every little note helps her know how many people are thinking about her and supporting her. Here is a link for a great card company. The cards are hilarious and can really help someone convey a message in a unique way (https://emilymcdowell.com/)

4. RIDES, COMPANY & CHEMO - Getting a ride to and from chemo can be very helpful. It is also nice to have the company of friends and family to pass the time.  Some chemo can take several hours to receive.

5. SEND GIFT CARDS - this could be for a Kindle, TV shows (binge watching shows to pass time), restaurants, Amazon.

6.  CLOTHES - send some warm blankets, comfy clothes and cozy socks - these are great items for chemo sessions or after surgery.

7. ACCESSORIES - Scarves & Earrings:  some women choose not to wear a wig. Scarves made out of light cotton found in most clothing stores are great for this use. Personally, I preferred those over the headscarves marketed for patients with hair loss associated with chemo.   Here is a link to a fabulous piece that was great when I was working out or just around town running errands. It also offered sun protection when I was in the pool during the summer. (https://buffusa.com/buff-products/women/multifunctional-headwear/uv/calyx/117067.531#details)

Earrings - This is a great way to accessorize and have some fun changing up her look.  

8. GIFT BAG OR BASKET: Get together with a few friends and put a few of the above together as a care package

9. SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FRIEND - some days your friend will want to just stay home and have some company, but other days when she is feeling on, she will want to participate in everyday normal activities.  When you are with her, be present and listen.

10. COMMUNICATION: Be a good listener! She might need to vent and talk about what is on her mind.  However, if she isn’t ready to share or open up, don’t push the advice or the conversation. Let her know you are there for her when she is ready and needs you.  Respect her experience, just because you know someone who has gone through cancer treatment, does not mean her regime or response will be the same.